Tintumon

Cruel Tintumon jokes.

(by Jim Iless)

(Scene 1.  Tintumon in the classroom)

Tintumon:   Sir…..sir,  my Pappa  asked me like this.  I did’t know the answer and I told him, I will axk my master when I go to skool.

Master: What’s  it?

Tintumon:

"First of the first is the first of you, 

second and third are Zeroes two, 

first of the last is the last of you,

Tell me my friend who are you? "

Master: you fool !, don't ask me such questions.  Go and ask your Pappa for the answer.

Tintumon: Sir….sir,  Pappa said that  an honourable minister said that only after he became a minister, he came to know that some school masters fit the answer to the above question.

Master:  Only a knowing person should become a minister. If he didn't know what everyone knows, that's because he may be as dull witted as you are.

(Scene 2. Tintumon  back at home)  

Tintumon:   Pappa.....Pappa,  our teacher doesn't  know the answer to the question you asked me. When I asked he got angry.

Pappa:  He doesn't?  If he doesn't, he does what he shouldn't.

Tintumon: Pappa....Pappa,  Our master was very angry yesterday also .

Pappa:  Why?  You say he is angry every day.

Tintumon: Yesterday he was angry because  I didn't know the correct punctuation.

Pappa: That's no big reason, you are only a kid. Why did he get angry the day before yesterday?

Tintumon: That's because I pulled the head scarf of Kunjumol.

Pappa: you naughty boy! Why did you pull the scarf of Kunjumol? Master should have spanked you.

Tintumon: Pappa…Pappa,  master  had asked her not to wear head scarf.  But she did not obey.

Pappa: What? Teacher asked her not to wear head scarf? Why?

Tintumon: Pappa, Headmistress had told everybody not to wear head-scarf.

Pappa: What?  Did headmistress tell like that?  Why, isn’t she a nun? She herself is wearing a head-scarf. Isn’t she?  Your  Chechi wears a head scarf when she goes to the church.  Doesn’t she?  I think wearing the head scarf is good. Don’t you?

Tintumon:  Pappa our skool unif…

Pappa: Shut up!  Don’t pull others’ scarf. Stretch your hand. I will give you three spanks for being naughty.

Tintumon: Now Pappa you spanked me, but you did not give answer to the question you asked. Please tell me Pappa.

Pappa:  Now listen to this.

             Some xes give names of gods and saints to men,

             Some xes write xish stories with  xish conversations, 

             misusing the name of the  Almighty and the saints

.            In the Sunday class the Sister told you about the Ten commandments.

             Didn’t she?

Tintumon: She said it was a good cinema.

Pappa:  God gave Moses the Ten Commandments. Do you know what they say? Tinumon: Do you know what they say? Pappa: Most xes don't . Now I will tell you.One commandment says. “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain”. Do you know what that means?

Tintumon: Dunno Pappa. But mummy always says, O my God when she speaks to me. Master also tells like that to me in the class.

Pappa: That’s because you are such a naughty,  naugty boy. Any way they should not always invoke the name of the most Merciful like that.

.

Some xes, as I told you write xish stories, ridiculing the Almighty, xishly making The Almighty as a character in their stories and writing xish conversations. 
Some xes include such xish stories in the text books for students like you. 
Some xish school masters include  such xish conversations in xish question papers also. Some ignorant xes misunderstand  the written word and immediately take the axes.

Now my son answer me straight.  If such xes axe a hand,  how many pieces do u get?

Tintumon: I don’t get it Pappa! There is an excess of xes in what you said.

Pappa: Yes my son, I admit  there is an exces of xes and axes around. Now my son, mind you, the answer to the question lies  in what I said.

Tintumon: I still don’t get it Pappa. I will ask Mayavi. He knows all answers.

(Scene 3. Tintumon in the playground)

When Tintumon ran to the playground to meet Mayavi and get the puzzle solved, Mayavi was not found on the branches of the big Peepal tree on the edge of the playground where he usually used to sit when speaking to children coming to play. Dakini, Kuttoosan and Luttappi where under the shade of the Peepal tree, dancing and chanting a song. There was a bottle in Kuttoosan’s hand. Mayavi appeared to have been caught and bottled by the trio.

The trio:

“When shall we three meet again?

In thunder lightning or in rain?

When the hurlyburly’s done,

When the battle is lost and won

We come Graymalkin,

Paddock calls,

Anon.

Fair is foul, and foul is fair:
Hover through the fog and filthy air.”

Tintumon was perplexed. A little frightened.

He called, “Mayavi…..Mayavi”.

xxx

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